You know you’re a terrible gamer when…

Not too long ago, my kids asked me if I wanted to join them for some NFL Tour. They were looking to have all three of us on the same team to see what we could do. Unfortunately, we discovered that the game limits the number of human players to two on a team. That’s when things got interesting…

Each one of them wanted to play solo, so the argument began as to who was going to get dad. I did, of course, chose to ignore the fact that they were trying to pawn me off onto each other as though I was more of a burden than an asset.

It was then decided that each would take a turn with me as their teammate beginning with my youngest (8). Being on the same team, however, didn’t mean that I was entitled to participate as my son continuously threw the ball to everyone on the team except me. On the few occasions that he did decide to use me, I failed to catch most of his passes (due to my not expecting to get the ball). While he didn’t criticize me out loud, the under-his-breath mumbles were hard to miss. We lost the game 35-14.

My oldest son (12) chose the same basic strategy of avoiding his teammate-father, the only difference being that when I screwed up a play, he had no problem berating me for my lack of skills. The two of us went on to lose 42-0.

Strangely enough, I haven’t gotten an invitation for a rematch. I’m sure they just haven’t gotten around to it yet…